Maybe this sounds familiar to you:
During the day you hear from others how “sweet” your child is. At grandma’s they sleep, with the babysitter they play contentedly, at daycare they seem cheerful.
And as soon as they are back with you, everything seems to come out: crying, whining, tantrums.
This can be very stressful for you as a mom or dad – and at the same time, it’s an important sign.
The principle of attachment
Your baby has a unique bond with you.
You are their safe harbor – the person with whom they can let go.
With you, they don’t have to “function.” They don’t have to hold back. They are allowed to show how they really feel.
This is not a sign of ingratitude or rejection, but of deep trust.
Why they are “well-behaved” with others
With people who are not their closest attachment figures, children often behave more reservedly.
They carefully test how these people react and don’t show all their emotions.
That’s because they feel less certain about how their emotions will be received.
You can compare this to adults who smile politely at work even when they are stressed inside – and then let it all out at home.
Emotional release
Children store stress and experiences.
When they are with you, they release this tension – often in the form of crying or anger.
It’s like a safety valve: if they didn’t, the inner tension would keep building up.
What this means for you
The fact that your baby or toddler cries the most with you does not mean they are unhappy with you.
On the contrary: it shows that they trust you, that they know you can handle their feelings.
This is the foundation for healthy emotional development.
How to deal with it well
– Take the feelings seriously, even if you can’t solve them in the moment.
– Offer closeness: hold them, speak gently, make eye contact.
– Don’t be disappointed if they seem “more difficult” with you – that’s a sign of love.
– Plan small breaks for yourself to recharge your own batteries.
Conclusion
When your child cries with you, they are telling you: “Here I feel safe.”
It’s a sign of a stable bond – and the best gift you can give your child for life.
Even if it’s exhausting: you are doing everything right.
If you’d like to learn how to handle these moments with more ease and what this means for your child’s sleep, feel free to reach out to me.
Together we’ll find a way for you to feel secure – and your child too.
